Lesson 3- Wait until Wednesday

When a child asks for something and we start to answer "No" (but we don't know "why"), we sometimes put them off. "Not today," we might say. Or, "next time". My granddaughter, who now prefers to be called Valerie, likes to stand in the pantry and choose her own snacks. Three or four at a time. Instead of telling her, "No way", I suggest we save some of them for Wednesday.

Wednesday is the day I pick her up from school. I always bring her a snack. This answer accomplishes two things. Valerie gets to choose. And so do I.

In the legendary Popeye cartoons, Wimpy is obsessed with hamburgers. "If you'll give me a hamburger today," he says, "I'll gladly pay you on Tuesday." After one episode, we see Wimpy is not a man of his word- just a man who loves hamburgers.

I strive to not be Wimpy on my word. Generally I'm solid on things I say I Will do. It's the things I promise Not to do that challenge me.

Last night, my

spouse

 (whom I now call Biker Mike) left his shoes in the middle of the living room floor. Because he wears a size 13, everyone is inconvenienced by this. But I am the only one who has hot lava flowing from her brain each time I trip over them. The first time that happened, I smiled at him. The second time, I rolled my eyes and the third time I just took a very deep breath. And held it (for about a half hour), waiting for Biker Mike to look up. Then, I left the room because that was the only adult thing to do.

Having drawn the line at picking the shoes up myself, I could only ask him (again) to move them or ignore them. Or choose Not to react to everything I was thinking each time I saw them still on the floor.

So I walked away. It wasn't easy, but it was the right thing to do. If they are still there on Wednesday, I'm going to need help.